People say the darndest things

Sometimes I think people don't think before they speak. Okay. Strike that "sometimes." People in general just speak what's on their mind before considering it and deciding whether it's a) logical or b) insulting/condescending.

I have found this to be especially true when it comes to the way people react when I talk about writing. Here's how that conversation usually goes:

Them: So you like to write? What do you write?
Me: Well, I've completed two novels.
Them: Oh! Are they, like, published?
Me: ...no...
Them: *sympathetic nod* So, like, how long are they?
Me: Well, you know, novel-length. 300-350 pages
Them: *shocked face* Really? They're like, real books?
Me: ...yes...
Them: So what are they about?

Okay, we'll get to the "what are they about" question later, but for now, let's focus on the first part of the conversation. (Also, please don't judge that bitty conversation as a sample of my ability to write dialogue...I swear I'm better than that!) Seriously, though, 95% of the people with whom I talk about my writing ask the publishing question first, then get this condescending, sympathetic look on their face when I tell them, no, I'm not actually published. Yet. As if being a writer is dependent upon getting published. As if publishing legitimizes the writing. Lies. I am a writer, dammit!

Whew. Got a little worked up there. Anyway.

The other thing that happens a good portion of the time is this response: "I have thought about writing a book." or "I started a book once." or "If I had time, I have so many great ideas for books I would write!" Now, I'm not trying to be that condescending, sympathetic person when people say this to me. In fact, I would love to have more writing buddies! But the way people say it...as if it's not that hard if you have the time or the ideas. I truly believe that many people could be writers. But in order to be a writer, you must actually write. Even if you are writing badly.

One time, in one of my many toe dips into online dating (those are a story for another time...), this guy approached me (in the internet sense) by telling me that he was also a writer. I had not yet learned to be leery of such claims, so I enthusiastically responded, asking about what he wrote and how long he'd been writing, and any number of other cliche writing questions. His response? "I wrote like a page about a year ago." Okay. Cool. We all work at a different pace. It took me three years to finish my first novel. So I asked what he wrote about. "Horror." Awesome. Different genre than I'm used to, but there are plenty of amazing horror novels out there that leave me rocking in the corner after throwing the book in the freezer because the characters can't hurt me from there. So how did he become interested in writing horror? "I work at Dairy Queen, and I thought of a lot of ways people could die."

Hm.

So here's the point in all this babble. Writing is easy. Anyone can write. People compose Facebook statuses by the millions every day. But Writing (capital W, which I realize is hard to compare since I had to use a capital to start the sentence about writing [small w]) is hard. Really hard. Like birthing a child (or so I've heard), but over months of time. Serious Writing takes dedication and drive and a certain degree of masochism. But serious writers cannot help themselves.

Honestly, a couple years ago, even in the midst of writing my first novel, I wouldn't have called myself a writer. But now, that's exactly what I am. Among other things, of course. I have always written. Now I Write.

In the end though, no one can tell you if you're a writer or not. You know if you are. And you don't have to listen to anyone else tell you otherwise. Because you're a writer, dammit. Just like me.

(Sidenote: Does the word "write" look strange to anyone else now?)

Some advice on taking advice from the overly advised

Want to know how to write? Google it. Seriously. There are thousands (at least) of sites out there with lists of advice for getting published. Do this. Don't do this. Make an outline. Just write. Don't let anyone read it right away. Have reading partners as you go. Write every day. Feel free to take a day off. Write in the morning when you first get up. Write at night. Write until you are out of ideas. Stop when you want to keep going. Start your story in the thick of the action. But not too much action. 25 ways to be a better writer. 50 tips from published writers on writing. 72 fail-proof ways to get a crappy first draft done. And the books. Oh, you can buy books upon books on how to write a book. And probably on how to write a book about how to write a book. It's like bookception. Also, how not to write a book, which is a whole new form of mind blowingness.

(I'm totally making up a lot of words today. It's because I'm a writer, which is synonymous with "wordsmith," which I'm pretty sure means the smithing of words, which I'm pretty sure gives me permission to make up whatever words I want. But I digress...)

I am guilty of trying to consume every bit of writing "advice" out there. Twitter is bursting with these lists, posted by agents and literary agencies and my favorite authors, and if they say the lists are good, they must be good, right? RIGHT???

And then I get sucked into that black hole. You know the one. Where there is no possible way to follow every bit of advice, so you follow none of it, trash your work in progress, throw your laptop across the room, and set fire to it. (The fire setting thing was much easier when writing was done on paper, but that's a story for another time.)

There comes a point where you really have to stop listening to what everyone else says and listen to what works for you. One of the "rules" of writing I have learned is that there are no rules. There are suggestions, that it may be in your best interest to follow, but for every "rule," there are a hundred (or more) exceptions.

So don't be like me, fellow writers, reading list after list on your iPhone, curled into a ball, gently rocking to the melody only you can hear. Consider instead the words of Anne Enright: "The way to write a book is to actually write a book. A pen is useful, typing is also good. Keep putting words on the page."

Break the rules. Go against all the advice. Be deliberately oppositional towards every suggestion you've ever heard. Just as long as you are writing.

That's my advice. Take it or leave it. ;)

But seriously, you should probably take it.

Focus group(ish)

It has been a few weeks since I finished the first draft of my second novel. Honestly, after I finished, I kind of deflated a bit. I wanted to keep going, keep up the momentum, but I really needed to take a step back. After I sent it off to beta readers, I also had a big move to a temporary summer office, and the stress of figuring out a summer schedule and stalking calling to convince parents to bring their children in throughout the summer. Also, paperwork. Mountains of it. Hours of extra work. My brain has been pretty much wrung dry by the time I get home, and most evenings that I am actually home are spent staring at the computer screen as I play game after game of Mah-jong. And think.

I think about what I wrote, if it makes sense, how it can be made better. I think about what project I want to work on next, if it's presumptuous to work on a sequel to the one I just finished, or if I should be focusing on something else for a while. I think about what it would be like to be married to Chris Pine. All sorts of things.

Last week I had the opportunity to meet with a 12 year old who was one of the first to finish my book. Since I'm writing for 12-17ish year olds (and those 12-17 year olds at heart, like myself), I was super excited to talk with her. Plus, this girl is like the little sister I never had, and one of my favorite book buddies. She has very strong opinions. We talked for three hours. Not completely about my book, but a lot of the time was spent on that topic. She had really great things to say, and I'm not kidding when I say this girl is hard to please. She is very honest too. The Hunger Games is her favorite series, and she said it wasn't as good as that. Honestly, that's a good thing, because if she had said it was, then I would have worried that she wasn't being honest with me!

I have complained before about how I am horrible at endings, and that was her one main problem with the book. Her exact words (regarding the ending) were, "It's not terrible. I've read worse." Not exactly a ringing endorsement, though I joked that would be the quote I use on the cover of the book. She had really insightful things to say about why the ending wasn't quite "long-dramatic-sigh" worthy. She is someone who memorizes first and last lines of books and quoted me several of her favorites.

So I went home and stacked a small portion of my YA book collection together and read the last several paragraphs of each book, comparing them and the way I felt about the ending. I don't think I'm quite an ending connoisseur like my young friend, but I sat down and rewrote/added to the ending. And she loved it! "It was definitely long-dramatic-sigh worthy," was her actual response. Of course, she still had more thoughts, which I love. I am seeing her again tonight, so we'll see what she comes up with!

I am really looking forward to hearing from more of my beta readers. I am also going to work on finding a writing group in the area. I think having more eyes on it, especially those who can look at it critically, will be extremely important. Until then...I have decided to work on the sequel. If the first one never gets published, I still need to finish out the series for myself, and for the few readers that are already asking what happens next. Maybe I can finish book two before the snow flies again! Here's hoping...