Relocated!

Another "re" to talk about...RElocated! I have officially moved all my blogging activity over to my site at renaolsen.com! I have loved Blogger, and will continue to use it for my personal blog, but my writing blog and news will all be at my new domain. If you haven't been over there, you're already missing out on some fun posts :) Let's go now! Click me.

Not my favorite "re"

Refreshed...renewed...rejuvenated...relaxed... Rejected. Well, folks, I'm in the midst of a querying storm, and you know what that means. Lots of rejections. It's really difficult sometimes not to feel defeated when that "Dear Author" email shows up in the ol' inbox. When I see I have a new email, I seriously cringe, and peek through one eye as I click to open it. The new gmail setup makes it worse, because it only says I have a new email if it's a *real* email, not something from Facebook or one of my millions of promotional emails (who signed me up for all that crap, seriously?). 

I do my best to maintain a positive attitude. I remember Sylvia Plath's words, "I love my rejection slips. They show me I try." Sometimes it takes a lot of reminders from my support system. Reminders that rejection is part of it, that I have an amazing book to sell, and that it will happen for me someday. I like reading about authors who were rejected many times before finding the right agent/publisher for their work, and I remind myself of that a lot.

Perhaps I just need to make the rejections more fun. I considered printing them out and rolling around on them, but, you know, paper cuts. So instead I found this little gem:

Hang in there with me, friends. It's all a part of the process, right? Now please excuse me while I go buy some more chocolate...

PS: This blog was originally posted on my new website, renaolsen.com! Check it out there!

Facebook official?

Yesterday I did something I had hesitated to do for a while. I started a Facebook fan page for my writing. I had hesitated because it seems really...what's the word...presumptuous? I mean, I'm not published. I have two completed novels, but so do a lot of people. I don't even have an agent yet.

But there's that word. Yet. I have to believe that it will happen, and when it does, I want to be prepared with a social media presence. For practical purposes as well, it's nice to have a separate place to talk about writing and my projects more, since I do have people asking me what's going on.

I already have a respectable number of "fans," since my friends and family are awesome, but I have definitely already gotten the response that I anticipated, and which kept me from doing this for a long time. I was making conversation with a friend and mentioned it, and she laughed and said, "Yeah, I saw that," and kind of rolled her eyes. What? Really? I'm not asking people to be my fans because of my pure awesomeness (although perhaps I should start a page for that too). I'm asking for support in my pursuit of a dream. And that's nothing to roll an eye at.

In general, the response has been positive, and people are excited for me. That is what I'm focusing on. That is what I will remember when my dreams come true. I am so incredibly blessed in my life. I refuse to allow the doubters, those who be condescending towards me, to dampen my spirits and my optimism about the future.

So thanks to all my wonderful friends and family who are faithfully following me, and to those who may not even know me personally, but have stumbled upon my words. Thanks for letting me be optimistic and confident and, yes, maybe even a little presumptuous at times. And for loving me and following me through it all :)

Oh yeah! And if you haven't visited yet, you can find me on Facebook HERE. 

Shipping?

I have recently noticed a new word popping up in the YA galaxy. "Shipping." Now, I realize this is not a new word, and, in fact, has been used for centuries. But...not in the same way. Maybe I am giving away my novice status here, but my best guess at a definition for this new form of "shipping" is wishing for characters in a book to get together. So if Bobby, Sally, and Jimmy are in a book, and you "ship" Sally and Jimmy, it means you want them in a relationship, and not Bobby and Sally (or Bobby and Jimmy, as the case may be).

I was reading through my Twitter feed one day and someone had asked an author if she "ships" her own characters. (I can't stop putting it in quotes...talking about shipping people just doesn't sound legal!) This author said that no, she doesn't "ship" her own characters, because it's a different sort of point of view when you are creating them. Since I was still caught up in trying to figure out why people were sending characters by mail, I kind of brushed off this answer until recently.

I was having a conversation yesterday with a friend who just finished my book. She read it in a day, and has already threatened my life if I don't continue the series. After securing a restraining order, I was thinking about the reaction that my book has garnered among friends and family thus far. It has all been positive (friends and family are fabulous at being supportive!), but in many case emotionally so. These people are totally invested in these characters I have created. They want to see things work out, and they have a need to see what happens next. They talk about them as if they are real people...

...which is exactly what I was going for. My plan is complete! Now everyone else is as crazy as me, and we can talk about the characters that sprang forth from my brain meat and into my story as if they are real, because THEY ARE.

But seriously, I was talking to this friend, and I realized that people who have read my book have in some ways become even more invested in these characters than I am. No, that's not exactly what I mean. I am invested, but I also have control. (Sort of. Characters can be wily.) So while they are stuck with whatever I choose to put on the page, I can visit with my characters whenever I please. Go hang out in a haloscape with Eden, or check in to see how Kalon is. They are belong to me. ;)

So, to make my point, I agree with that author. I don't "ship" my own characters, because I create them, and I create their relation"ships" in the stories, even if it sometimes seems that they have a life of their own. But it makes me enormously happy when other people "ship" my characters, because it means I've made them believable enough for a reader to have an opinion one way or the other.

And it also means that I can really mess with them...

And the winner is...

...not me.

Ha! Fooled ya!

I'm pretty sure in my last entry I talked about a contest I was entering. I can't be sure that was my last entry, and at this point I'm entirely too lazy to go and check, so work with me here, k? So this contest was one I had been planning on entering for months. I wanted to have my book finished and polished by the time I entered, because CLEARLY this was THE ONE that was going to lead me to my agent and a book deal and publication and possibly a hot tub. With jello. Not a hot tub full of jello. A hot tub in which jello could be eaten. From a bowl. With a spoon. Or a fork, if you're weird.

Wow, that derailed rather quickly.

Soooo, the contest didn't turn out exactly how I had planned. I prepared for the blog pitch, my 35 delicious word morsels to whet the appetite of any avid reader. Surely it would stand out enough to be in the top 50. Well. Not so much. They even expanded to the top 56, and still no dice. I think there were upwards of 300 entries though. I tell myself I was number 57. If you know better, don't tell me. Let me just...imagine. Anyway.

Last Friday was the Twitter pitch party. And boy, did I warm up my thumbs for that one. I had to work, but every break I got I was on that phone. I had some saved pitches I had worked on, and made some up when Twitter stopped letting me use the same ones. (Please, I was not spamming, Twitter. Have a heart!) I pitched and I pitched and I retweeted for others and I pitched some more. Two times an hour from 8am until almost 6pm. And...

Nada. Zero. Goosegg.

Well, that's not true. A couple likes from other writers, some retweets, and a few new followers. Made some good connections, which I love. So I don't consider it a waste. Not at all.

It would have been easy to feel super defeated after all of that. I was texting with a writer friend and she was definitely feeling the defeat, the hopelessness, the fatigue. And I really was too. I had thankfully already made dinner plans, otherwise I thought it would have been a lovely evening to stay home and mope.

But I didn't. And I worked during the weekend to write the evil synopsis. And researched agents. And lamented over the fact that they are all looking for something different in a submission. And then pushed up my sleeves and began preparing individual queries for each agent I was hoping to query. And I sent out some queries. And now I wait. And while I wait, I will work. Work on researching more agents in case it's a 'nah' from all the ones I sent out. Work on my next project. Work on things unrelated to writing, because we all need a break from time to time.

And hope.

To make a long story short.

In my last post I mentioned that I really suck at summarizing things, which can make conversations with people about writing very awkward. (Sidenote...when I was talking about how people react when I say I write, I wasn't talking about ALL people. I looove talking about writing, and as long as someone is genuinely curious and respectful about it, I don't mind whatever questions come out!)

ANYWAY.

Back to summarizing. Keeping things succinct is not my gift. I don't write short stories. It's a skill that I am working on, but I need a lot more practice. Unfortunately, when I'm doing things like entering Twitter pitch contests or writing a query letter, not having that skill can really damage my chances. Because, clearly, ALL of my story is important. So then I think I should cut NOTHING or EVERYTHING. And it ends up like this:

Eden is cool. She lives Underground. Then some bad stuff happens. Kalon.

Descriptive, right?

This is the problem I have run into with a contest I am entering tomorrow. PitchMAS. I had to work my pitch into 35 words. This is the first contest I will be trying with this book. I'm nervous, although the worst that can happen is that it doesn't get picked. Then I just work on querying.

The thing is, I know this is a good book. I have had some great feedback, from people who know me well and would tell me they love it regardless of its actual quality, but also from those who don't know me as well, and/or would tell me the blunt truth even if they hated it. I also realize that anyone who knows me is also able to read into the personality behind the words. I only hope that that personality comes across to others as well, and that they enjoy it as much as my beta readers have!

I had a panic moment earlier today, because I am at a family reunion at a Presbyterian camp (I worked here 10 years ago...that is just insane!) and I wasn't sure I was going to have internet access to enter the contest tomorrow! I was already making plans to go creep in the Perkins parking lot, and even buy a slice of pie inside if need be. But, clearly, it's working just fine. A wee bit slow, but working! Hopefully still will be tomorrow too ;)

Wish me luck!

People say the darndest things

Sometimes I think people don't think before they speak. Okay. Strike that "sometimes." People in general just speak what's on their mind before considering it and deciding whether it's a) logical or b) insulting/condescending.

I have found this to be especially true when it comes to the way people react when I talk about writing. Here's how that conversation usually goes:

Them: So you like to write? What do you write?
Me: Well, I've completed two novels.
Them: Oh! Are they, like, published?
Me: ...no...
Them: *sympathetic nod* So, like, how long are they?
Me: Well, you know, novel-length. 300-350 pages
Them: *shocked face* Really? They're like, real books?
Me: ...yes...
Them: So what are they about?

Okay, we'll get to the "what are they about" question later, but for now, let's focus on the first part of the conversation. (Also, please don't judge that bitty conversation as a sample of my ability to write dialogue...I swear I'm better than that!) Seriously, though, 95% of the people with whom I talk about my writing ask the publishing question first, then get this condescending, sympathetic look on their face when I tell them, no, I'm not actually published. Yet. As if being a writer is dependent upon getting published. As if publishing legitimizes the writing. Lies. I am a writer, dammit!

Whew. Got a little worked up there. Anyway.

The other thing that happens a good portion of the time is this response: "I have thought about writing a book." or "I started a book once." or "If I had time, I have so many great ideas for books I would write!" Now, I'm not trying to be that condescending, sympathetic person when people say this to me. In fact, I would love to have more writing buddies! But the way people say it...as if it's not that hard if you have the time or the ideas. I truly believe that many people could be writers. But in order to be a writer, you must actually write. Even if you are writing badly.

One time, in one of my many toe dips into online dating (those are a story for another time...), this guy approached me (in the internet sense) by telling me that he was also a writer. I had not yet learned to be leery of such claims, so I enthusiastically responded, asking about what he wrote and how long he'd been writing, and any number of other cliche writing questions. His response? "I wrote like a page about a year ago." Okay. Cool. We all work at a different pace. It took me three years to finish my first novel. So I asked what he wrote about. "Horror." Awesome. Different genre than I'm used to, but there are plenty of amazing horror novels out there that leave me rocking in the corner after throwing the book in the freezer because the characters can't hurt me from there. So how did he become interested in writing horror? "I work at Dairy Queen, and I thought of a lot of ways people could die."

Hm.

So here's the point in all this babble. Writing is easy. Anyone can write. People compose Facebook statuses by the millions every day. But Writing (capital W, which I realize is hard to compare since I had to use a capital to start the sentence about writing [small w]) is hard. Really hard. Like birthing a child (or so I've heard), but over months of time. Serious Writing takes dedication and drive and a certain degree of masochism. But serious writers cannot help themselves.

Honestly, a couple years ago, even in the midst of writing my first novel, I wouldn't have called myself a writer. But now, that's exactly what I am. Among other things, of course. I have always written. Now I Write.

In the end though, no one can tell you if you're a writer or not. You know if you are. And you don't have to listen to anyone else tell you otherwise. Because you're a writer, dammit. Just like me.

(Sidenote: Does the word "write" look strange to anyone else now?)

Some advice on taking advice from the overly advised

Want to know how to write? Google it. Seriously. There are thousands (at least) of sites out there with lists of advice for getting published. Do this. Don't do this. Make an outline. Just write. Don't let anyone read it right away. Have reading partners as you go. Write every day. Feel free to take a day off. Write in the morning when you first get up. Write at night. Write until you are out of ideas. Stop when you want to keep going. Start your story in the thick of the action. But not too much action. 25 ways to be a better writer. 50 tips from published writers on writing. 72 fail-proof ways to get a crappy first draft done. And the books. Oh, you can buy books upon books on how to write a book. And probably on how to write a book about how to write a book. It's like bookception. Also, how not to write a book, which is a whole new form of mind blowingness.

(I'm totally making up a lot of words today. It's because I'm a writer, which is synonymous with "wordsmith," which I'm pretty sure means the smithing of words, which I'm pretty sure gives me permission to make up whatever words I want. But I digress...)

I am guilty of trying to consume every bit of writing "advice" out there. Twitter is bursting with these lists, posted by agents and literary agencies and my favorite authors, and if they say the lists are good, they must be good, right? RIGHT???

And then I get sucked into that black hole. You know the one. Where there is no possible way to follow every bit of advice, so you follow none of it, trash your work in progress, throw your laptop across the room, and set fire to it. (The fire setting thing was much easier when writing was done on paper, but that's a story for another time.)

There comes a point where you really have to stop listening to what everyone else says and listen to what works for you. One of the "rules" of writing I have learned is that there are no rules. There are suggestions, that it may be in your best interest to follow, but for every "rule," there are a hundred (or more) exceptions.

So don't be like me, fellow writers, reading list after list on your iPhone, curled into a ball, gently rocking to the melody only you can hear. Consider instead the words of Anne Enright: "The way to write a book is to actually write a book. A pen is useful, typing is also good. Keep putting words on the page."

Break the rules. Go against all the advice. Be deliberately oppositional towards every suggestion you've ever heard. Just as long as you are writing.

That's my advice. Take it or leave it. ;)

But seriously, you should probably take it.

Focus group(ish)

It has been a few weeks since I finished the first draft of my second novel. Honestly, after I finished, I kind of deflated a bit. I wanted to keep going, keep up the momentum, but I really needed to take a step back. After I sent it off to beta readers, I also had a big move to a temporary summer office, and the stress of figuring out a summer schedule and stalking calling to convince parents to bring their children in throughout the summer. Also, paperwork. Mountains of it. Hours of extra work. My brain has been pretty much wrung dry by the time I get home, and most evenings that I am actually home are spent staring at the computer screen as I play game after game of Mah-jong. And think.

I think about what I wrote, if it makes sense, how it can be made better. I think about what project I want to work on next, if it's presumptuous to work on a sequel to the one I just finished, or if I should be focusing on something else for a while. I think about what it would be like to be married to Chris Pine. All sorts of things.

Last week I had the opportunity to meet with a 12 year old who was one of the first to finish my book. Since I'm writing for 12-17ish year olds (and those 12-17 year olds at heart, like myself), I was super excited to talk with her. Plus, this girl is like the little sister I never had, and one of my favorite book buddies. She has very strong opinions. We talked for three hours. Not completely about my book, but a lot of the time was spent on that topic. She had really great things to say, and I'm not kidding when I say this girl is hard to please. She is very honest too. The Hunger Games is her favorite series, and she said it wasn't as good as that. Honestly, that's a good thing, because if she had said it was, then I would have worried that she wasn't being honest with me!

I have complained before about how I am horrible at endings, and that was her one main problem with the book. Her exact words (regarding the ending) were, "It's not terrible. I've read worse." Not exactly a ringing endorsement, though I joked that would be the quote I use on the cover of the book. She had really insightful things to say about why the ending wasn't quite "long-dramatic-sigh" worthy. She is someone who memorizes first and last lines of books and quoted me several of her favorites.

So I went home and stacked a small portion of my YA book collection together and read the last several paragraphs of each book, comparing them and the way I felt about the ending. I don't think I'm quite an ending connoisseur like my young friend, but I sat down and rewrote/added to the ending. And she loved it! "It was definitely long-dramatic-sigh worthy," was her actual response. Of course, she still had more thoughts, which I love. I am seeing her again tonight, so we'll see what she comes up with!

I am really looking forward to hearing from more of my beta readers. I am also going to work on finding a writing group in the area. I think having more eyes on it, especially those who can look at it critically, will be extremely important. Until then...I have decided to work on the sequel. If the first one never gets published, I still need to finish out the series for myself, and for the few readers that are already asking what happens next. Maybe I can finish book two before the snow flies again! Here's hoping...

The end is only the beginning

About 24 hours ago I typed the last sentence of the first draft of my second novel. That makes sense, right? It took about 8 months for me to finish this one, which is a vast improvement over my first one, which took three years. This new one is also 10,000 words longer, which I'm not sure is a good thing, but since it's the first draft, it may not stay quite that long.

Of course, I was excited. I am pretty passionate about this book, moreso than I ever was about my first one. Not that I didn't enjoy my first novel, there was just a lot less excitement in that one. It was more reflective, and probably what my first novel needed to be. It will probably remain shelved forever, as most first attempts do. But I digress.

The ending was as ridiculous as I knew it would be. I am reading a book called "How Not to Write a Novel," by Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman, and tonight I opened it to see that I was on a chapter called "Endings." As much as I enjoy reading the book and realizing that I avoided many of the common mistakes novice novelists make, I also recognized myself in some of the descriptions, especially in the section on backstory overpowering what is currently going on. I need to cut my ending by half. I know that already. More about that later though. 

I am forcing myself to take a short break before I begin my first round of revisions. See, for me, the easy part is the writing. I can do what I want the first time around. It just spills out. I hate revisions. With a passion. Now, every time I read through, which I have done several times already just to make sure things are making sense, I change things. Phrasing here, a character there. But usually small changes. This first round of revisions will be major surgery. Cutting my baby apart to make a better baby. Okay. Ew. Perhaps I should try a different analogy next time.

I know that making Frankenbook is necessary, but ugh. I also know I should be taking time to celebrate the accomplishment of writing another book, but it's hard when I know the road ahead of me. It's like I'm Dorothy, and I'm following the yellow brick road, and I've just finished this part of my journey and I look up to find I've only barely reached the edge of Munchkinland. There's a whole lotta yellow brick road ahead of me, and many obstacles before I can reach the Wizard, who will, of course, grant me whatever I wish as long as I kill the witch. Or something like that. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. It's kind of late to be writing an entry, but I wanted to write before I head out of town for the weekend.

So really, I am excited to be finished, but the road is long, and my journey is just beginning. First comes revisions, then beta readers and critique partners, then more revisions, and some revisions, then querying and rejection and crying and eating my feelings and maybe, just maybe, something amazing will happen after all of that. I have hope. Regardless, I will continue to write. It's what I do ;)

Let's end this!

I don't pretend to be an expert writer. Okay, maybe sometimes I pretend, but I do realize that blog posts, Facebook statuses, and 1.75 novels does not an expert make. But, in my (not so) vast experience, I decided that figuring out the perfect ending is almost the most difficult part of writing. Which is why I tend to stall out right before those last climactic pages.

The perfect ending is essential to making writing really work. This is where you tie everything up in a big bow, give explanations for any foreshadowing you gleefully injected into earlier chapters, and try to really give your story meaning. If you write an entire crime novel and there is little to no explanation, no reasoning, too many unanswered questions...the reader will close the book feeling unsatisfied and kind of icky. (I think "kind of icky" is actually the technical term.) I don't want people feeling icky about my books. A bad ending can overshadow even a fabulous first 3/4. There are books I have read that I wished I had closed before I reached that last crucial point, because it would have remained more pleasant in my mind.

That's a lot of pressure.

I am at that point once again in my second novel. Trying to pull the pieces together in a way that makes sense...it's insane. Now, perhaps if I were a *better* writer, I would have been taking notes and making sure to keep track of what I needed to answer. But...I'm not that kind of writer. I'm a word vomiter. So hopefully if there are issues, I can clear them up in revisions, with help from a few trusted beta readers.

Still, I have been agonizing over how to end this thing. How to close things up in a way that makes sense, that is "realistic." If things are too pretty, it can throw a reader out of the story too. "You mean...they were involved in a major firefight, half of the bad guys died, and none of the main characters were even injured? What are they, superheroes?" (To those who write about superheroes, my apologies, that's totally realistic.) How "nice" do I make my ending? How many casualties? How angry will readers get if this happens, and have I hooked them enough to keep them reading if I make it to a sequel?

Thankfully, I have a great friend reading and giving me a chance to bounce ideas off of her...although I believe she may be even more emotionally invested in my characters than I am at times, which might taint her opinion just a bit ;)

I have also been dealing with that "I suck-itis" lately. Keeping up with agents and other blog posts and articles about writing is a good idea, but, as I've mentioned, it can also contribute to that hopeless feeling that I'll be stuck in the slush pile trenches forever. Lately I have been dealing with the fact that my YA novel is already much longer than it is *supposed* to be, but I still have story to tell, and don't want to sacrifice it yet. I know the cutting will come, but I need to tell the story first.

So, hopefully I will finish this week. I said that two weeks ago. One of these weeks it's bound to happen. I am so close. I just need a bigger bow...

In the meantime, watch this video of a recently signed author talking about her journey to finding an agent. She compares querying to dating, and it's really pretty entertaining. It can happen!

 

 

 

 



Dear Publishers

Dear publishers, agents, reviewers, etc,

I think we need to talk. I had hoped that this wasn't a conversation that we would ever need to have, but I'm not sure it can wait anymore. It's the elephant in the room, publishing industry. Something that must be addressed before another day passes.

I have yet to see my name on those book shelves. I go to Barnes and Noble. Nothing. Amazon search? Turns up zero results. Not even the public library has any record of me.

I thought it was pretty simple, publishing industry. I write something brilliant, you publish it. We both win. Where is this disconnect happening? How can we fix this?

Don't you remember how I won that contest in the third grade? I won best story in the entire state of Iowa. For third graders, anyway. There are a lot of people in Iowa. More corn, but still a respectable number of people. I just looked up the population of Iowa, and there are over three million of us. And lots of those are third graders. I mean, it's a pretty big deal. The story was about an anthropomorphic tooth named Jenny that fell out of her host's mouth and went on an epic adventure. That's what the cartoon tagline would be: Small tooth, epic adventure. I don't think I knew the word epic when I was in third grade, but that's beside the point.

The point is that twenty years ago, the public was introduced to a promising young author, and they are still waiting. Waiting for ME, publishing industry. I think that together we can put together a story that will outshine even the planned (and never completed) sequel to Jenny the Tooth, where Jenny ends up in a museum. It was to be called Jenny the Tooth in the Museum. Third graders are not very creative in titling things.

So let's work together and make this happen. Querying will start again in the next few months, and I'll need you all on your best game. We can do it. Go team!

Love, Rena

Pushing through

So the problem with creativity is that it doesn't work on a schedule. Certainly not any sort of schedule a normal human being should be keeping, anyway. For example, my creative impulses hit around 10pm. Not when it's light out. Not even in those twilight hours of half darkness. If I'm lucky, I might get the juices flowing between 9 and 9:30pm. But before that, pretty much anything I write is drivel, and unusable. This week I have been exceptionally creative, logging in total over 11.5K words in the course of a few nights. This translates into around 36 Word document pages, which would be almost 100 book pages. And remember, I don't start until after 10pm.

Now you can imagine that this has put a bit of a strain on my day job. My sleep self has been playing tricks on me, turning off or resetting my primary alarm. Thank goodness for the backup! Still, I have walked into work later than planned, which means staying later than planned, which means paperwork and a quiet(ish) building, which is not always helpful when tired.

As always, the self-doubt plagues. I was doing some research tonight, and on a whim I looked up the typical length for a YA novel. Most places are saying 50K-65K or 75K tops. Mine is already 81.5K, and I have a little ways to go. What does that mean for my chances of scoring an agent? Hopefully nothing. The sites were also saying that in the end, it's the content that matters. And right now, longer YA is hot. Of course, a couple years down the road, who knows? And that's the most optimistic outlook for when my book might end up being published, IF I get an agent this year and IF it is sold to a publisher. And those are huge IFs. Those are dreaming IFs.

So as I was reading this, and thinking about other blogs I read about what not to write and what not to do and the difficulty of breaking into the publishing industry in any real way, I came across the website of author Alyson Noel. Now, I actually have never heard of her, but I was reading her advice on writing/publishing, and it's actually really awesome. This was my favorite part:

What is "I-suck-itis" and how do I make sure I don't get infected?

I-suck-itis is that feeling you get when you're happily engrossed in your writing, everything's going great, and then, smack out of nowhere, that horrible, annoying, little voice in your head pipes in with all sorts of judging, and snarking, and horrible little comments—determined to convince you that you'll never be as good as so and so. 

When that happens, the only cure is to tell that little voice to mind it's own business, thankyouverymuch. That you are just trying to get the first draft written and have every intention to go back and revise later. Because the truth is, writing is all about re-writing, and to paraphrase Nora Roberts: You can't fix a blank page! 

 Why do I love this? Because it's normal. It's completely NORMAL to have days when you decide you suck. It's completely NORMAL to compare yourself to others. I read it time and again, and I just thought this was a fabulous way of explaining it, and then swatting it away. If you're interested in her other advice, check out the page on her website here. 

So, in the end, I really am excited with where my book is heading. At this point, I need to finish, and worry about revisions later. I don't want to think about slashing my baby to cut the word count back, but I refuse to worry about it now. For now, Eden and Kalon have an adventure to finish. The sooner the better, so I can start getting some sleep!

Inspiration

Taking a break from writing a lesson plan, I stumbled across this photo gallery on weather.com It's a bunch of pictures of abandoned amusement/theme parks. Some have been abandoned longer than others, and all closed for different reasons.

As I looked through the pictures, I was struck with all sorts of inspiration. The book I'm working on now is set at an undetermined point in the future. The world has changed, and nature has taken over. These pictures inspired me to think more concretely about how things might look. I love things like this. Perhaps my characters will even encounter an old theme park. The story takes place in Minnesota, in the (what used to be) Minneapolis area. So maybe Valley Fair? What if people actually lived there now? I don't know, but it could be interesting. By looking through pictures like these and comparing them with what Valley Fair looks like, I can create in my mind a decent idea of what a derelict version of the park might look like. Theme park ruins have been used in some of my favorite books, such as Uglies and Divergent. Of course, I don't want to copy those authors, but the concept is so great. Just another way something completely random can add another facet to a storyline. 

I highly encourage you to check out the link. Beautiful pictures. In case you decide to skip it, I'll leave you with a few of my favorites before heading back to lesson planning.

Keep an eye out for what inspires you, and keep writing!

UPDATE: Before I went back to work, I checked Facebook, because, of course, and someone had posted this link.
Some more eye candy of beautiful abandoned places. I could look at this stuff all day. But I won't. Today.

Staying connected

So many writers have actual real life jobs that they're actually getting paid to do, while writing is a hobby passion that they must find time outside of job and family to pursue. I'm definitely one of those people. I get so caught up in the everyday tragedies of my job (I'm a therapist, there really are daily tragedies) or the busy work of my second job (grading college papers is nothing like editing a novel) that I lose sight of my passion at times. Yes, I have been itching to get back to writing, but at the same time, I'm so absorbed in everything else, it has begun to slip my mind more and more.

I had lunch with a writer friend yesterday, and it was the boost I needed. She is so passionate about her books and her journey, and I every time we meet I feel my passion growing again. Talking books we've read, books we're writing, plot, characters, querying...the whole world that I've had to pretty much  ignore for the past several weeks. I just keep telling myself...in two weeks, I will be done teaching my class. In two weeks, I will be down to one job, forty(ish) hours a week, which leaves all sorts of free time.

Those connections are important. Whether you know someone in person or keep track of people on blogs and social networking sites, keeping your finger on the pulse of the industry helps to feed that passion. Now, don't get me wrong, there are times when I've been reading so many blogs and tweets that I start to get discouraged. They make getting published sound so bleak at times. Endless mentions of the "slush pile," which is apparently growing and growing as more people decide now is their time to become the next J.K. Rowling or E.L. James*. (Perhaps I need to use my initials... R.L. Olsen...) Most of us will never make it to that status. As important as connections are, when I get really discouraged, that is the time to unplug for a tidge. So. Stay connected, but not too connected but know your limits. Connect with people who encourage you and help you grow, and stay away from those who would discourage you and make you feel that your work is anything less than the beautiful diamond in the rough you know it to be.

Above all else...Write like no one is reading!

*These are not necessarily authors I endorse (though I love Harry Potter), but were the first that popped into my head when I think of the rise to stardom from humble beginnings

It's in the details

Still on a painful ridiculous annoying involuntary writing hiatus. I wish I could focus on both the class I'm teaching and on the writing, but since I'm getting paid to teach, that has to come first for now, and by the time I finish all my required work for that, my brain is zapped. Especially after trying to grade papers, which is a form of torture I had been previously unaware of. I'm not sure if it's more acute because I am a writer, or if it's really that bad, but...it's bad. It takes all that is in me not to print out each paper and attack with a red pen, correcting every tiny grammar, punctuation, and spelling error. That wouldn't be constructive though, so I resist. Anyway, off topic. My point is that even if my procrastination left any room for writing, it wouldn't be fair to my characters or myself to use the last of my energy to crank out a few pages. I would rather wait until I can give it my full attention.

However...

Just because I'm not currently writing doesn't mean that ideas are not percolating in the back of my mind almost constantly. The music of windchimes floating across the air makes it clear that Eden and Kalon have another stop on their journey. A playful exchange rewrites itself into the pages. The background plot becomes clearer, and solidifies the idea that this story will not be finished at the end of the book. The sequel already has a name. And in my head, I relive my story, picturing the details.

And that's when I see it. That one small detail that could ruin detract from my story. A seemingly insignificant thing, but something that I must go back and add to support the continuity of the story. I created a piece of technology (since my book takes place in the future) that I mentioned not just once, but several times in the beginning, but then forgot about. It disappeared from the pages, and from my imaginings of my characters as I pictured what I was writing. It's something that not everyone would probably pick out, but as a reader, I would probably be all over it, because I pay attention to small details.

Let me give you an example. I recently discovered the Lux Series. Obsidian, Onyx, Opal. The last one comes out in July (and I'm DYING to read it!). I love these books. However, there is one scene that sticks out to me, not because it's a big plot point, but because the main character magically changed her shirt between sitting on the couch and getting up to open the door. A tshirt while she was lounging turned into a soft sweater at the door. I reread several times to make sure she didn't throw on the sweater. Sometimes I miss the quick change, like when I wonder how a character who was sitting in a bean bag chair is suddenly leaning against the doorway. To me, these things matter.

The small details are what really paint the picture and pull the reader into the story, and missing those details can just as easily throw a reader out of the story. Now, we all make mistakes, and goodness knows there are probably hundreds in my novel. I fix what I catch, and count on my beta readers to point out other issues. In the end, I hope that I create a story that can pull the reader in and keep them there. How? It's in the details.

Involuntary Hiatus and a Sneak Peek

I try not to be dramatic (HA!) but it's KILLING me right now to not be writing. I was at such a good place in my book, and now it sits in a folder on my computer, just waiting for me, feeling sad and dejected as I focus on other things.

I agreed to teach a class this month way back in January. How was I supposed to know at that time that I would be at a crucial point in my novel? And the extra income is needed, so I couldn't really say no. But this class completely consumes the time I would otherwise be spending writing. Between planning classes and grading assignments, I am drained of any creative impulse.

So Eden and Kalon (my characters) sit and wait for my return. I miss them. Hopefully we will be reunited sooner than my last class, but if not, the end of April will be our time. Until then, a sneak peek at one of their first major interactions...

Eden brought her tablet to her room and was considering reading some of her History assignment before bugging Zoe and Fiona when her halo chirped. She eagerly slipped it on, shivering as it connected. Maybe her friends felt bad about her torture of staying at home and were going to rescue her, at least through the haloscapes.

An unfamiliar avatar blinked in Eden’s vision. Shrugging, she sent her thoughts to connect anyway.

Hello?

Hey, Eden, it’s Kalon.

Oh.

Eden could feel Kalon’s mental amusement at her obvious lack of enthusiasm. Wanna hang out in this new haloscape I programmed?

Eden hesitated. I think I have plans. Unfortunately, it was very difficult to lie in thoughts, since the halos picked up not only the words, but the intent and feelings behind them.

Come on, Kalon cajoled, Just for a little bit, and then you can run off and have your fan club meeting with Zoe and Fiona. Maybe program a hot guy to practice kissing on. Mua mua mua…

KALON! Eden was embarrassed. Even in her romantic haloscapes, the furthest she had gone with a guy was holding his hand skin to skin, an act practically unheard of even among families in the Underground.

Kalon’s tone was apologetic. Sorry, too far. So will you come? Just for a few minutes?

Why?

Because I asked you to.

Eden considered. She knew Zoe and Fi could be engrossed in the new clothes and vids for a long time, and she really didn’t want to do her homework. Fine, she said, and could feel Kalon’s glee. But don’t read anything into it. I’m babysitting my annoying Middler brother and have absolutely nothing better to do.

Whatever you say, was Kalon’s flippant response, but Eden sensed a smug satisfaction. She would have to take care of that pretty quickly before Kalon got the wrong idea.

A swirling haloscape invitation swooped into Eden’s line of vision, Kalon’s avatar front and center. She accepted, then closed her eyes and allowed herself to be dragged into the simulation.

When she sensed she was fully in the haloscape, Eden waited to open her eyes. She was always amazed at how her other sense operated in these simulations, and took a few moments to take in the sounds, smells, and physical sensations of the environment before taking her first look. She could hear water, a lot of it, and it sounded angry, coming in waves. She could taste the salt in the air, and smelled something suspiciously similar to fish Flavor. At first she thought she was at the “beach” but the surface under her was hard and gritty, and when she shifted, rocks clattered and caused echoes around her. Finally, Eden opened her eyes and looked around her. She appeared to be in a carved out section of rock. The ground was stone, uneven and covered in smaller rocks. The smaller pebbles poked at her feet, but not uncomfortably so. She stood and walked to the opening, then gasped and jumped back. She was standing high above the ocean, large, punishing waves crashing against the side of the cliff. Though she was high above, she could feel the salty spray on her face. Eden took a deep breath and backed up slowly, then turned and assessed the rest of her environment.

Pillows were scattered around a small fire happily crackling under the tallest point of the cave. Walking closer, Eden looked up and realized there was a hole through which the smoke was escaping. She breathed in the scent of the fire, appreciating the newness of the sensation. She had heard of camping sims, but had never had much interest in them. Now she wished she had a few in her possession, if only for the scent of the fire.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Eden jumped. Kalon was lounging in the shadows deeper within the cave, watching her intently. She had almost forgotten that he was there, and that this was his haloscape. In fact, he had said it was his own creation.

“This is a little different than the sims I usually hang out in,” Eden said nervously. “But it’s so detailed. Really impressive programming.”

Kalon pushed away from the wall and moved forward a few steps. He smirked. “Thanks for the compliment.” He walked to the fire and plopped down on one of the pillows. He gestured toward the one right next to him. “Have a seat.”

Eden moved to the fire and sat, but left a pillow between her body and Kalon’s. Even in the haloscapes, close proximity with someone she didn’t know well made her uncomfortable, unless the person was part of the sim.

“So how long did this take you?” Eden asked, truly curious about Kalon’s programming skills. A sim like this would take her several weeks to perfect, and she was one of the best programmers in her class. It helped that Ilaria was the head of the Programming department. She had been taking Eden along on jobs and showing her the ropes since she returned from Teensy camp.

“A few days,” Kalon said, leaning back on his elbows.

“You lie.”

“Okay, maybe a few weeks, but not really that long.” He shot Eden a smug look. “You’re not the only programming whiz around.”

Eden just shrugged and stared into the fire. Outside, dark and ominous clouds began to form. They flickered with electricity, and emitted sound that Eden felt to her bones. “What is that?”

“A  thunderstorm. They have them all the time on the surface. Rain and thunder and lightning.”

“How do you know about them?” Of course Eden knew about thunderstorms from working on the weather sims with her mother, but few people were interested in anything other than clear blue skies in their holowindows.

Another smug look. “My dad took me Above the last time they went to test the air. It was storming and we had to stay in a shelter for a couple days. I took a lot of notes.”

Eden stared at Kalon, open-mouthed. “You went Above?”

“Yup.”

“No way.”

Kalon just smirked again and looked out toward the gathering storm clouds. He sat up, his face growing serious, and stared into the fire. “Wanna know a secret?”

“No.”

He glanced up at her sharply. “Why not? I haven’t told anyone yet. You’d be the first.”

“I don’t think anything you have to tell me could be good news,” Eden said honestly.

Kalon nodded, still serious. “You’re right, but I’m going to tell you anyway. That’s why I asked you here.”

“Then I need to go. Actually, I think Cal is knocking on my door.” Eden cocked her head to the side as if listening. “Yup, that’s definitely him.”

“Eden, wait –“

“This is really impressive, Kalon, thanks for showing it to me.” Eden reached up to tug on her earlobe, her personal signal to her halo that she was ready to exit a sim.

Kalon’s eyes narrowed. “This isn’t over,” he warned as she tugged and disappeared.

Eden sat in her chair, breathing hard as she waited for the dizziness to pass. She ripped off her halo and tossed it on the bed, then stripped and put the sonic shower in massage mode. As the pulses kneaded her muscles and urged her to relax, Eden tried to figure out why she was so bothered by Kalon. He had barely spoken to her before today, though they had known each other for years, and yet he had singled her out not once, but twice today. He seemed determined to pass on some sort of message to Eden, and she was sure she didn’t want to hear it. She would just have to be extra careful to avoid him from now on. That decision made, Eden allowed herself to enjoy the massaging pulses, and let her mind go blank for a while.

 ----------------

Until next time!

The opposite of writer's block

I have a new problem lately that I haven't had to deal with very often. Usually, when I write, there is a point that I stop and have no idea where to go next. Writer's block. It's what caused my first novel to take three years to finish.

With this newest novel, the opposite is happening. Let's call it writer's...uhh...diarrhea? That's gross, but seriously. I have to keep telling my brain that I have to do things like go to work and work on preparing to teach my next college class, and, oh yeah, sleep sometimes. The story just keeps running through my head, and I HAVE TO GET IT OUT.

What my brain also doesn't seem to understand is that as I write, I have to actually describe what's going on. I can see it all happening in my head, but I have to paint a word picture in order to translate what I see onto the paper. Or the computer. Whatever. So when, like now, I have a whole sequence mapped out in my head, it might take me five hours to write what goes through my head in just a few minutes.

I would rather have this problem than writer's block, however. There are these beautiful moments when I sit down at the computer and the words come and it feels effortless. The words just flow, and I get excited and think, "It's comin' out of me like hot lava!" (Bridesmaids, anyone??)

So, back to it now. This weekend I need to clean my apartment, prepare for my class, print off songs for church tomorrow, see my peanuts (I miss them!), and also try to do as much writing as possible.

Writing is great until life gets in the way ;) Wish me luck!

Just who is in charge, anyway?

Last night I was clacking away on my keyboard, sure that I knew the direction my story was headed. Suddenly, one of my characters turned on me! When I created him, he was a nice side character. Apparently he even had me fooled. A little further on, and I actually gasped when one of my characters did something unexpected. In that case, it fit her personality, but I was surprised when it happened.

Cue the men in white coats.

I find it hard to explain to people my writing process. Not the procrastination part of it, but the actual story telling that happens. I always have a bare-bones idea of where I want my story to go. It's never a straight line to get there though. There are pit stops and detours and backtracking. And the characters are constantly getting in the way of me telling the story as I initially plan it.

When I create a character in my  mind, they become real to me. I think that's why I become so emotionally invested in books. It's different from a movie, because I can watch an actor and remember that he was in something else, that he is a real person with a real life beyond the character he is playing at the time. But in a book, the life the characters are living, the story I am creating for them, that is their story and their life. I know, again, I sound crazy. Or "cray cray," as my nieces and nephew would put it.

And it doesn't make sense. But I know my characters as much as they let me know them, which means the main character is usually an open book (no pun intended). I have a good idea of his or her intentions and motivations. But it's those side characters that are really good at keeping things from me, hiding their motivations, because they are not as important to me. Just like in the story, they tend to be overlooked, even by myself, their creator. And that's where they get me, because suddenly another facet of their personality is revealed, and I have to pay attention to them.

I was having a conversation with a friend last night and teasing her that one of the characters in my book may or may not end up being a bad guy. She told me that wasn't possible, and I replied that anything is possible, because I am doing the writing and I do what I want. But she has talked to me enough about writing to know that is complete crap. I do the writing, yes, but I've found that when I try to force characters to do what I think they should do, instead of listening to them tell me what they're going to do, the writing comes across as forced and unnatural. My friend knows this, and was pretty smug in her appraisal of the situation, and she was probably right. Hey, maybe he will be a bad guy...but it won't be because I want him to be, it will be because that is who he is. Or isn't. We'll see.

I'm as excited as anyone else to find out what my characters will do next.

Critique me, baby

I recently had the opportunity to read an early draft of a friend's novel. This is the second of her novels that I've read. The last was about a year ago. Both were excellent, but reading them was such a different experience. The first time around, I was just dabbling in my own writing, working (somewhat) steadily on my first full-length novel, and I had next to no knowledge of the publishing industry. When I met with Jenny to discuss her book, she whipped out a pen and notebook and waited for my comments.

"Uhh...it was good? I liked it? Change NOTHING."

Yeah. Not exactly helpful. At that point, I wasn't reading with a critical eye. I didn't want to point out any flaws or holes, because I didn't want to make her feel bad, because, seriously, this woman is talented.

After finishing my own first novel last year and having a few critique partners go through it, I am realizing how valuable critical feedback can be. I am so protective of my work. I HATE revisions. It's like showing someone a picture of your beloved child and having them point out all the things that are wrong with him/her. Hey, be nice, I MADE that. My novel is perfect the first time around, thankyouverymuch. Except...it isn't. There are plot holes, there are awkward sentences, there are random storylines that make no sense. And they need to be pointed out, especially if I have aspirations toward publication.

I am only dipping my toe in the rushing river of the publishing world, and already I've learned that you have to have thick skin. That contest I entered? Didn't make it past the first round. Those queries I sent out? Not a nibble. Clearly there is plenty of room for improvement. And as I am not exactly impartial to my work, having honest and supportive critique partners is incredibly important...even when what they say may stab me in my creative little heart. I am simply too close to my projects to see the big picture at times.

Does knowing all this, thinking about all this, make getting feedback any easier? No, of course not. But I choose to use the critiques to improve on my child...errrr...novel. And I hope to be able to do the same for other authors looking to polish their manuscripts.

So this time around, I was better prepared to read the manuscript and make comments and suggestions. I was able to stop and make notes and jot down questions that may help my friend to see her story in a new light, from a different perspective. Does that mean she will take any of my suggestions? Of course not. That's what I love about writing...people can tell me what to do until they're blue in the face, but ultimately it's my decision and my baby. After all, it's my name on the finished product, right? And it is the same for every author.

With that in mind...I probably am still not being as critical as I could be. This is a case when having multiple (critique) partners is probably a good thing...each will see something different, and there is a whole crop of suggestions from which to choose. All I ask of my critique partners is this: be honest, but be gentle. I'm fragile under all this thick skin.

(PS - Go check out Jenny's blog. She's fantastic, and she is going to be a STAR.)

Nocturnal Narration

I write best at night. I don't know why. It's really annoying, actually. I can sit at my computer all day long, and write maybe a page of crappy dialogue. Then ten o'clock hits and I'm all, "Write ALL THE WORDS!"

Unfortunately, I have a day job. One that I can't exactly fake my way through. Maybe someday I will be able to stay up all night and sleep all day, like a vampire or a cat. That will happen when I win the lottery or marry Ryan Gosling. Either way, it feels like a win.

Until then, I suppose sleep is a good idea. At least my dreams are entertaining...

Jumping in

I haven't talked a lot so far about the querying process, mostly because I've only just barely dipped my toe in it. I have already experienced apprehension over watching my email inbox and the sting of rejection as certain phrases jump out of the query responses.
"I don't think I'm the right agent for your project."
"Your project is not the right fit at this time."
"You deserve an agent who is as passionate about your project as you are."

And always encouragement, though that doesn't make being rejected any easier.
"Remember, it only takes one agent!"
"Publishing is subjective, and I am sure you will find someone who is the right fit."
"Keep trying, and best of luck on your project!"

Yeah.

I haven't yet gotten the thrill of having a request. Now, possibly this is because I haven't had the opportunity to send out enough queries. By the time I was ready to submit my manuscript, it was December, and many agents were taking a holiday hiatus. When January rolled around, I found myself entrenched in craziness at work, which resulted in the inevitable Collapse of Exhaustion when I finally got home after a 9-10 hour work day, and getting up the energy/courage to send out more queries and deal with more rejection just wasn't appealing. I am only just feeling like I might be able to take a deep breath and jump back into that process.

Fun story, this post isn't even supposed to be about querying! This post is about a contest I entered. I was told about this contest by my friend Jenny, who is also going through the process of querying. She is much more diligent about it than I have been able to be, and therefore knows about a ton of contests and opportunities that I might never have heard of otherwise. This contest is on Cupid's Literary Connection and is called the Blind Speed Dating event. Jenny got picked to go onto the second round during the first week of the contest. I ended up submitting for week 5, and guess what...week 5 starts today! Ack!

I don't know what, if anything, will come from this contest, but I know that if I keep slacking off and not putting an effort into my dream, I won't ever get there. Every contest, every query is an opportunity for feedback, for practice, and who knows? Maybe the next contest/query will be THE ONE. Hey, it could happen.

If you'd like to check out my contest entry, click here.

Priorities?

If I had my wish, I would write full time. I would have a beautiful office with a comfy chair at my desk in front of a picture window looking out on a large body of water. I would get up late, wander into my office with a steaming cup of hot chocolate (I don't do coffee), and spend the day (and probably most of the night) immersed in the imaginary world of my stories.

Unfortunately, this is not even close to a possibility any time in the near future, or possibly ever. If hopes and dreams and a good joke or two could pay the bills, I would be golden. But, sigh, I am forced to maintain full time employment to make ends meet. I work 40(ish) hours a week as a therapist in an elementary school. It's emotionally draining playing Ants in the Pants and Connect 4 multiple times each day, but the money's gotta come from somewhere, right? Plus, between paperwork and phone calls, lately I've been staying late just to keep my head above water. Let's just say that my top priority when I get home is not opening up the laptop to let the words flow effortlessly from my fingers so much as it is taking off my pants and watching some Ellen.

I also recently agreed to teach a second college course. Another one I will have to pretty much design from scratch. That doesn't start until March, but if I don't want to be scrambling and working through spring break, I'd better get started sooner than later.

And then there's my church stuff. I'm helping lead a Bible study starting next week, helping plan monthly events for our ladies' group (ggw4god.blogspot.com), helping to plan a possible teen girls' retreat for March, and singing with the praise band regularly. And I love it all.

Throw in socializing several nights a week, and I'm left to wonder...what about my writing? What about the time I need to spend editing and revising and researching agents and contests and webinars? How can I spend the time I need to make it to my dream, when there is so much else getting in the way?

One skill I don't have is time management. Like, at all. I will spend an hour playing Mah-jong and not even realize it. My days are so scheduled, I hate to schedule the rest of my life that way, Type B personality that I am.

Something I need to do is make sure to make writing a priority. I need to turn off my phone and disconnect from the internet, leave the TV off, and just write. Even as I type this I have had multiple texts and Facebook notifications, all of which probably could have waited.

So, if anyone reads this, hold me accountable. Ask me when my writing time is, and then text me to test if I actually turned my phone off. Ask me about my progress, or ask to read a snippet. I have found a couple contests I might enter...but don't ask about those.

Here's to continuing to do what I need to do and what I enjoy doing, but above all, WRITING!